Water Boarding Ted Kennedy: A Eulogy (Redux)

Back by popular demand!

Ted Kennedy, sober since August 25, 2009!  Keep up the good work and don’t fall off the wagon!

Enjoy your water boarding spa treatments, Teddy (hiccup).  You won’t be alone.  John Murtha will be on the table right next to you.

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Water Boarding John Murtha: A Eulogy

As I stated in the eulogy for Ted “Hiccup” Kennedy, I hope that John found salvation before he died.  But just as with Ted, I kind of doubt it.

REAL Marines have a special place in God’s heart, so there probably aren’t any of them in Hell with John Murtha right now.  But, I’m sure there are plenty of tortured souls down there waiting for their turn to water board John.  Perhaps Murtha and Kennedy are sharing vodka martinis between their water boarding sessions.

What sounds do you think John will hear for eternity?  Will it be the sounds of the reports saying that ALL OF THE HADITHA MARINES WERE ACQUITED? Or will it be the voices of all REAL Marines disowning John Murtha?

For someone who once at least claimed to be an honorable person in the form of a United States Marine, the fall from grace was a long one.  His corruption has been documented over many decades.  One of the earlier was his involvement in the ABSCAM affair (Murtha – Abscam: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwjkQTNPDAg).

Murtha was known as the “King of Pork” in Washington circles.  That’s no small feat.

John Murtha dies; longtime congressman was master of pork-barrel politics

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/08/AR2010020802352.html

Meet Congress’ “King Of Pork”

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/04/04/assignment_america/main3994689.shtml

Perhaps Murtha’s “finest” moment, and the one for which he is likely to be forever remembered, will be his desperate lunge for the microphone to seize the opportunity to attack George W. Bush by accusing Marines of atrocities without knowing any of the facts.

Murtha: Marines Shooting in Haditha ‘Worse Than Abu Ghraib’

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,197316,00.html

Of course, when the Haditha Marines were EXONERATED, Mr. Murtha seemed to develop an allergy to microphones and cameras.

Haditha prosecution goes 0-7 (http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2008/06/the_marines_vs_haditha_smear_m.html)

John Murtha cuts and runs when asked about Haditha

Of course, the coward John Murtha should have apologized when he was proven 100% completely wrong for besmirching and defaming these Marines.  But sadly, he no longer has the chance to do it.

So, in a final farewell to John Murtha, I play for you some thoughts of another commentator on the internet on the passing of the Cowardly King of Pork.

Hell’s kind of warm this time of year.  Hope you brought plenty of sun screen, John.  RIP.

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Water Boarding Ted Kennedy: A Eulogy

I would hope that Ted Kennedy found salvation in Jesus, made amends for his sins and is in Heaven singing praises to God.  However, I somehow don’t think that was the likely end for “Teddy.”

Assuming that he is in hell instead of Heaven, do you suppose that his hell consists of being water boarded by Mary Jo Kopechne?  Do you think the only sound he will hear for the rest of eternity will be the sound of her terrified screams and pleas as he abandoned her in the cold water of Chappaquiddick?  Do you think that while he was still alive he was able to keep enough alcohol in himself to quiet the voice of Mary Jo?